“Welcome back, Lisa Rinna. I missed you so much since your family packed their bags, loaded them in your mouth, and skipped town. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to enjoy a crisp pickle, but couldn’t find anyone to suck the lid off the jar. I assume you’ve been working as a baby polisher, where young mothers place their infants heads in your mouth to get back that newborn shine. So glad you’re back. I haven’t seen a smile that big since the Claymation Abominable Snowman got his teeth pulled by that little gay elf dentist. Love, Santana.”
THIS.
